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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Seed 9 Films in conjunction with acclaimed Siberian director Mikal Morevski have uncovered the plot by aliens from the planet Sarnu.
Morevski said "It become apparent when Mr Vanlandingham , whose previuos reputation had been one of a crumudgen , suddenly started qouting great works of literature in conjunction with posting pictures of fine works of art."
Some had written this off to impending fatherhood and marriage but it is no secret that Sarnuvians find earth women irresistable but obviuosly the alien JVL , giddy with lust , has been unable to control himself and been posting humoruos bits on Special Stage
When sceptics grilled Morevski on why go through so much trouble to over throw a small series such as SCCA rally he had this to say.
"Well the Sarnuvian Car Constructers Association , known as SCCA , have no new markets to sell their 2 wheel drive cars"
One Sarnuvian manufacturer who requested anonymity said
" The earth creature known as JVL has been touting the merits of 2 wd cars for years , we didn't think anyone would notice the change"
Sarnuvian car giant SIMCA (Sarnu Internationale MotorVerken Construzione Automobli) plans to sneak its model 180 into the solar system and start a full rally effort.
The illegal importations of 180's has not gone without notice by American manufacturers: Daimler-Chrysler , parent of earth based Simca who produced a model 180 in the seventies , had attempted to bring suit in US courts but the only Justice willing to even talk about the case said "somebody at DC must be hanging around Marion Barry becuase they're on crack"
Like all conspiracies this too is motivated by money : The alien JVL is president of the Sarnuvian Car Constructors Association (SCCA )Pro and Club rally programs and currently printing costs are killing SCCA Rally profits. The Sarnuvian printers union had recently negotiated a $4500 per hour pay raise. JVL always a shrewd negotiator slipped in a clause that allows him import SCCA Pro and Club stickers from any solar system more than 100 lights years away. (Earth and Sarnu are 100.0002 Light years apart) Morevski's film sights this as the largest abuse of power since the 20 year rule. JVL will be buying SCCA club stickers for $1.50 and reselling them for 3.2 million Sarnuvian dollars (an estimated $27.50 in US currency).
When Morevski was aked what the average Rallist in America could do he replied " buy all the Club Rally stickers you can , think of the Sarnuvian printers union - our union brothers need us. " We also must all buy Earth built 2wd cars" "I recommend Volvo's , if the Sarnouvians go to war over money as so many have , even Sarnuvian weaponery is no match for a tank like a 240"
Meanwhile rumors persist that the earthling JVL has been lulled into a stupor with Watneys Cream Stout and a truck full of Cosworth parts.
Officials from SEED 9 Films had only this to say " The conspiracy is so broad and the conspirators so many I won't be surprised if this post gets moved to some off topic forum.

Tom , Seed 9
 

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RE: SEED 9 films; alien plot to overthrow US Rally - Vanlandingham abducted & substituted

What? Was Oliver Stone too busy?
 

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RE: SEED 9 films; alien plot to overthrow US Rally - Vanlandingham abducted & substituted

Tom this is OLD news.
You forget that along with the Tank-like Volvo 240 we will also have military fast-transport Saab 96's by the thousands with 50mm sidedraught Weber carburators.
Great story.
John V.......Don't you have something to add?
Share some double secret information with us!!

John Lane
Viva Le Pro Le Ralliat
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
RE: SEED 9 films; alien plot to overthrow US Rally - Vanlandingham abducted & substituted

SEED 9 has been working on this story for over a year , true Art takes time. Now Mr Lane is asking JVL's advice and we all now he drives a 2wd car hmmmmmm , must be a fellow conspirator!!!
 

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For Immediate Release- Vanlandingham abducted & substituted

Präsident and Chief Theoretician and Semiotican Jan Van Vurpa, sometimes known as John VanLanddamnyoursoulsonnafabeechwhydon'tyou getaneasiernametospell released the following statement for immediate release.
Which is like catch and release:
:' Luuk, I keell vhuefer I theenk needs keelling in oorder tu prutect Emereeca's raallink proooogram. It's herd vurk, boot I veke-a up ifery dey theenking ebuoot vhu I need tu vurk herd tu keell next. Thet's my herd-vurkeeng jub. Und iff zeere's oone-a theeng ebuoot herd vurk, it's thet it's elveys herd vurk. Nut iesy relexeshun. Herd vurk. Und thet cun be-a zee herdest keend ooff vurk vhee yuoo're-a reelly vurkeeng herd. Bork Bork!'

Thanks you.
Any questions will be all eequally answered as clearly as this one.


Und iff thees VES mufed tu OoFF TOPIC it vuoold be-a pruuff thet zeere-a is a FEST Vrung Veenged Cunspurecy et vurk. Remember, Yuoo eren't Reeght iff yuoo eren't Lefft! Bork Bork Bork!



John Vanlandingham
Seattle, WA. 98168

Vive le Prole-le-ralliat!
Vive Le Groupe F!
 

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RE: For Immediate Release- Vanlandingham abducted & substituted

That's a good one. I've heard John Vanlandingshutthehellup before (and must admit I've snickered...sorry John), but this one is pretty good too.:) Scary part is I got all that the first read thru. For some reason it sounded like the Governator.

Any chance those 50mm Webers could be decoys for 50mm guns?

I'm rambling.

Out.
 

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Bork! Bork!

Tom,

Nein, Niet, & Phooey. Dat ees de rooong reeFrance fur BORK! Wenebber dis Vannlanndeeekhaaam pheeler maykiss hees reeFrance to BORK, hee ees shtil vyuldlee sellibraytink de 1987 deefeet of de nomeenation hof Yudje Robert Bork tu de US Super-ream Kort by de lefty wingy commy pinkoey's demokratski's hin de senile-et.

Neber lit dees pheeler phoool, ywe! Hees a Daanjuris Man! Dees topik shoood be mooft to de udder plaze. Heee yust ees daringk 'ol Jim. Kneenar Kneenar.

Rich Smith

:+
 
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