NASCAR's Chairman Bill France, Jr. announced today the formation of a new racing series called "The Roots of Nascar." The new series, sponsored by Snickers candy bars, a brand of the Mars Candy Co, is designed for licensed street cars racing on dirt roads, very much like the World Rally Championsip Cars so popular around the rest of the globe. France reports that offering a series known for racing real cars on real roads really fast harkens back to the founding days of Nascar: "In those days many of our top drivers raced through the back woods of the south in their old Hudsons, Plymouths, and Packards."
Executive Vice President Brian France added, "There's been a homogenization of Nascar as we've moved upscale and broadened our market base. We realized it's time we embraced our heritage while utilizing all the talent Nascar can bring to bear to any racing series."
As part of the program, Nascar introduced three divisions. The premier series has been titled the Snickers Cup Cars of America and will travel the country and race in the countryside. Heavy manufacturer involvement is expected. These cars, though licensed and insured for street use like all rally cars, are allowed significant improvements to chassis, suspension, and engine management systems. Two junior divisions have also been formed, one for two-wheel-drive machines and one for production vehicles with almost no modifications allowed. Both junior divisions will be included as regional support races for the Snickers Cup circus.
This isn't the first time Nascar has adopted a program outside of their traditional bull-ring and oval track series. The Grand-Am series, a direct competitor to IMSA and American LeMans, was spawned in the late '90s and has proven successful, especially at it's showcase event, the Rolex 24 hours of Daytona.
To help the new SCCA series get off the ground, Nascar raided the offices of the Sports Car Club of America (SCCA, not to be confused with the Snickers Cup Cars) by hiring away Kurt Spitzner, whose most recent success was the North American Touring Car Championship series. "Kurt understands the importance of stickers, so switching to Snickers seemed a slick solution to a quick execution of our business plan," commented David Lynch, Managing Director of Modern Media, the ad agency for parent company Mars Candy Corporation. "We fully expect a slicker Snicker sticker to promote our new series." Other staffers making the transition include Steve Johnson (competitor liaison), Doug Robinson (office typist), Sue Robinson (tech inspector) and Sean Conlan (guy-who-carries-heavy-things, the same position he had before).
Competitors have already expressed enthusiasm for the new program. Noted rally historians John Vanlandingham, Tom Grossman, Jens Larsen, and Mike Halley all predict incredible growth for the sport. Vanlandingham's quote, "In Hallett, Sweden, when blue scrabble vixens optenuate dizen moxen flusher flusher, rabble stink ya so gut," loosely translates to "It be cool, dude." Grossman swears that the new SCCA will be "faster than a set of bleachers." Halley, who races a Volkswagen New Beetle, wishes only that the Mars Candy Co had selected M&Ms instead of Snickers for the title sponsor. "My car kinda looks like one of them 'M's, doncha think?" Larsen added, "The TV package is awesome--we expect at least a half-hour broadcast after every race on Nascar TV."
The Western States Rally Championship series supports the new series as well. "According to our rules, any coefficient 3 event in the western U.S. becomes part of our series after their first succesful rally. We welcome Nascar's involvement as long it benefits our participants," noted WSRC chairman John Dillon.
Nascar's top rivals, NASA and the IRL, could not be reached for comment.
Don't forget the rest of the NASCARALLY rules. Like:
Nothing over 2 years old (sorry, almost everyone).
No public cursing (large fines).
You thing 34mm restrictors are, ahem, restrictive? How about 390cfm carbs? Oh, yeah, and solid rear axles.
Rules change hourly at the whim of the NASCARALLY heirarchy (O.K., so no real change there).
Water bottles & roll cage padding replace the red cross as a means of creatively taking advantage of hastily contrived rules.
Runnin shine with pace notes, what a concept. I figure with the pace notes we should be able to keep the lights off more so they won't see us commin. WEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAA!!! Ya'll come out now, ya hear...}>
John I feeled so humbled - all I could ever come up with was Spec-Ark , Alien Tree creatures devouring drivers at an event sponsored by Dubba Rubba Condems. I'm so jealous that I did not come up with "Slicker Snicker Sticker"
PS please not in Fastruck the rule book chnages: change the word "OR" to "AND" on page 7 paragraph 2 line 6 where it states "Navigator must be a cousin or wife"
How many '**** tails are going to be hangin' from rally cars at OT in silent protest of SCCA? I don't remember reading anywhere in the rule book that says they can't be there. However, if it isn't specifically allowed, it's forbidden...
My membership, ProRally license, crew, and RoadRally Safety Steward renewals have already been recycled. I don't think they'll even miss my $220.
1982 Volvo 242 Performance Rally Toy (still under repair)
1995 Honda XR600R Dual-Sport Motorcycle (MUCH cheaper than rallying SCCA-style!)