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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
MONTICELLO, NY. The New Jersey Rally team of Lawrence/Macunpronaounable have issued a statement that they intend to petition NASA Rallysport for a rule-change banning super-natural powers in the ESRC following yeterday's revalation by the Quantum Rally Sport team of Wimpey/Wimpey that they employed "twin telepathy" to achieve their M2 class win at the International Rally New York.

"I'm absolutly gutted" said Lawrence. "Its bad enough to lose fair and square, but to learn you are the victim of spooky twin black magic really takes the cake."

Medical ethisists have already predicted that the use of cloning and genetic engineering will become a serious issue in competative sports in the future. Lawrence, however, argues that Rallying should not only take the lead in banning the practice, but should expand the rule to prohibit twins who are "in effect clones without the effort."

"My co-driver is struggling to read notes in an English accent like on the video-games, meanwhile the J's Wimpey are simply floating notes to each other through the ether. Anyone with even a modicum of paranoia can see they have an unfair advantage."

In a seperate statement, Lawrence angrily denied employing his own form of black-magic in the form of secret Polish rituals aimed at pleasing the rally gods: "look I admit that I did once try dinking vodka and eating uncooked bacon the night before the rally, but it didn't make me faster, it just made me ill."

NASA, the sanctioning body concerned, has so far remained silent on the issue.
 

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Kudos to Mark for broaching such a sensitive subject. The Wimpey freres' brazen reliance on telepathy and twin-ness on a closed stage clearly conveys some sort of paranormal advantage. One might suppose that the rest of the RNY field is lucky the Wimpey's didn't employ sufficient twin-ley juju to have parted the barriers of space/time and won the entire event.

To protect the rally community against further such supernatural transgressions, one of our sponsors has brewed up a batch of organic French gearbox oil based on owl entrails, bat wings, and garlic. Early testing indicates that the latest product from Mojo-tul not only spooks the spooks but also lends a certain "je ne sais quois" to the performance of viscous limited-slip diffs.

PM this address for pricing, availability, 2006 sponsorship proposals, and vehicle appearance packages.


Dave G
Mojo-tul USA


"...Embrace loose gravel, beware big trees..."
 

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Perhaps the rally gods are just pissed that you drank all the vodka without sharing any?

Just so you know, offering to the rally gods can be made through your nearest MTC worker. And rally gods prefer beer. Just so you know.
 

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>MONTICELLO, NY. The New Jersey Rally team of
>Lawrence/Macunpronaounable have issued a statement that they
>intend to petition NASA Rallysport for a rule-change banning
>super-natural powers in the ESRC following yeterday's
>revalation by the Quantum Rally Sport team of Wimpey/Wimpey
>that they employed "twin telepathy" to achieve their M2 class
>win at the International Rally New York.
>

To further expedite the prospective ban, Hollingsworth/Grahn relay that initial reports of the flat tire, broken throttle body, and fuel delivery issues which plagued them during RallyNY were in-fact "willed" to happen by the brothers, just for spite.

In official statement, Jason Grahn is in full agreement with Macunpronouncable that codriving is not only a test of stamina, endurance, and perserverance, but also of talking quickly with funny accents. If the brothers are leaving out this valuable point in the equation, they have are procuring an obvious advantage which must be stopped.
 

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Faster !!!!
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.... tried to spook the juju out of 'em as they passed by us
(CRS style... hehehehe)

... just made 'em go a little off line ...

.. probably made 'em faster ...
 

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Even spookier since they are not twins.......and what is worse, there are THREE (yes 3!) J. Wimpey brothers. Further, what Mark failed to devine is that the 3rd J. Wimpey brother was modulating Mark's brake system by the same telepathic means from his home hundreds of miles away, creating just enough drag to let his other 2 brothers win. Having learned all these secrets on the ride home with Jeremy, I will never compete in their class, ever......

Mark, I must say you took the situation stoically, and were driving your heart out. Thanks for the good chuckle.

Regards,
Mark B.
 

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Ole--

heard thru grapvine that some unnamed person possibly matching your general description was demonstrating gluteus maximus lunar exposure to passing cars...:+ guess that was a sign you guys were A-OK after the impact?

must also divulge that you two nearly won a special Triple Caution Thong Award for "T-Boning Largest Pine in Southern NY State" but ran afoul of a technicality...you had to finish event to qualify.

Ah well, maybe next time. Who knows what Thong criteria will be then?


Dave G

"...Embrace loose gravel, beware big trees..."
 

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WEll, we are truly only half-clones (fraternal twins) and the third J Wimpey does indeed have powerful juju. Meanwhile, there exists a little known 4th J Wimpey (father) who exerts significant intergalactic control of RF noise and is able to create engine misfires-at-will and intercom static around the globe from his cozy bunker outside of Washington DC.

Muahaa
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Notice of Comment Period for Proposed New Rule:

GENETIC PROTESTS

Any protest regarding genetic impropriety shall be made within thirty minutes of final scores being posted. The accusing party shell post a fifty dollar bond.

A. Upon the presentation of a timely protest under this rule, the Stewards shall convene a tribunal at the nearest significant body of water. The vehicle of the accused team will be dropped into the water upside-down with the crew strapped in and window nets securely affixed to the roll cage.

i. If the accused twins/clones escape before drowning, it shall be deemed conclusive evidence of paranormal/unsportsmanlike twin juju and the team shall forfiet their position and be burned at the stake. (three layer nomex required) Additionally the protesting party's bond shall be returned.

ii. If the accused twins fail to escape from behind their window nets before drowning, the protest fails, the protesting party's bond is forfieted, and the window net rules shall be revisited.


Mark Lawrence
 

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BEDEVERE: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
VILLAGER #1: Burn!
CROWD: Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...
BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!
VILLAGER #3: Shh!
VILLAGER #2: Wood!
BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn?
VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?
BEDEVERE: Good! Heh heh.
CROWD: Oh, yeah. Oh.
BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
BEDEVERE: Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
VILLAGER #1: Oh, yeah.
RANDOM: Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...
BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No. No.
VILLAGER #2: No, it floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond! Throw her into the pond!
BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Uh, very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Uh, gra-- gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Uh, churches! Churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead! Lead!
ARTHUR: A duck!
CROWD: Oooh.
BEDEVERE: Exactly. So, logically...
VILLAGER #1: If she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood.
BEDEVERE: And therefore?
VILLAGER #2: A witch!
VILLAGER #1: A witch!
CROWD: A witch! A witch!...
 

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Tree? what tree?
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BWAAAA-Haa haah hah cough spit damn coffee on the keyboard again!
 

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'is the engine bogging?'
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Ooh, JC beat me to it!
 

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> BEDEVERE: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
>VILLAGER #2: Burn!
>VILLAGER #1: Burn!
>CROWD: Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...
>BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?
>VILLAGER #1: More witches!
>VILLAGER #3: Shh!
>VILLAGER #2: Wood!
>BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn?
>VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?
>BEDEVERE: Good! Heh heh.
>CROWD: Oh, yeah. Oh.
>BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
>VILLAGER #1: Build a bridge out of her.
>BEDEVERE: Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of
>stone?
>VILLAGER #1: Oh, yeah.
>RANDOM: Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...
>BEDEVERE: Does wood sink in water?
>VILLAGER #1: No. No.
>VILLAGER #2: No, it floats! It floats!
>VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
>CROWD: The pond! Throw her into the pond!
>BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?
>VILLAGER #1: Bread!
>VILLAGER #2: Apples!
>VILLAGER #3: Uh, very small rocks!
>VILLAGER #1: Cider!
>VILLAGER #2: Uh, gra-- gravy!
>VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
>VILLAGER #2: Mud!
>VILLAGER #3: Uh, churches! Churches!
>VILLAGER #2: Lead! Lead!
>ARTHUR: A duck!
>CROWD: Oooh.
>BEDEVERE: Exactly. So, logically...
>VILLAGER #1: If she weighs the same as a duck, she's made
>of wood.
>BEDEVERE: And therefore?
>VILLAGER #2: A witch!
>VILLAGER #1: A witch!
>CROWD: A witch! A witch!...

Jim.......Who are you who is so wise in the ways of science??

John Lane
Viva Le Pro Le Ralliat
 

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Jeeeeeeez they're not witches , if they were they would have flown their car to FTC. Telepathy is clearly a sign they are Alien creatures and since there seems to be confusion about their being twins I bet they are shape shifters , everyone knows drinking Vodka and shape shifting are related. I hear Aliens come here to rally because Hu-mons are easy pickins.

Tom
 
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