From the Gorman Ridge Rally Organizers from the event's Facebook page:
Dear CRS Competitors,
Considering that Gorman Ridge Rally (Sat, Aug 23rd in Lebec, CA) has opened up its entry, we thought we'd dispel a few myths.
5 Myths About the Gorman Ridge Rally Totally Sucking.
It Sucks Because It's In A Park!
It Sucks Because It's Rough!
It Sucks Because There Are No Notes!
It Sucks Because It Never Changes (and It'll Be Around Next Year In The Same Boring Form)!
It Sucks Because of the Hangover!
1. It Sucks Because It's In A Park!
The Hungry Valley ORV park is one of California's eight state vehicular recreation areas. The rangers and admin folks have told us for years that we're one of their favorite events because we put on safe, well-organized, and respectful events. They're actually glad that we come back year after year and hold us up as an example for other clubs holding events in their jurisdiction.
Imagine that -- in a climate where other governmental bureaucracies are trying to rid the lands they manage of rally, we're thriving. Remember the introduction of Maxey Ranch as a stage? That was at the suggestion of a ranger. OMG! The heresy!
Although we'd love to reincorporate some of the lost Rim roads, our compact format allows us to run on time (sometimes we're ahead of schedule) and gives competitors the option of open service periods while still providing a serious amount of technical seat time. Yup, total suckage.
2. It Sucks Because It's Rough!
In years past, yep -- Gorman's been a bit of a meanie. The weather (specifically periods of heavy rain) have always been a factor and there were times when the motorcycle woops were more whoops than anything. But given our relationship with park management, some shifts in DMV funds, and the introduction of new roads to balance the race load, the past few years have been some of the smoothest ever given the grading efforts.
And if you're still concerned -- what, are you, dorifto-ing or rallying? You do realize this is
gravel rally, right?
3. It Sucks Because There Are No Notes!
We don't write notes. We don't sell them. We don't provide them. We don't broker them. Ray argues between using "care" and "caution"; Brian confuses left with right; Donna debates about what really constitutes a plus or minus declination; Stacey just thinks tulips are cute. Do you really want notes from these people?
But we have provisions in our supps for you to get them from others.
We also do provide a route book. Once upon a time, when dinosaurs got sideways in fiberglassed-bodied Fire Arrows, route books were enough. But we understand -- today is different, dude. Totally.
If you don't want to write your own, bring a bro's. It's all good. We're a family and dude/dudette-friendly rally. So long as you're not infringing on anyone's copyright, gang up with some friends and share. Roll your own during recce or pass the splined set somebody got from his cousin, we've never heard this was a big impediment to running. And we're all about keeping it affordable by any means necessary. This is one of those situations. Just stay classy about it, OK?
4. It Sucks Because It Never Changes (and It'll Be Around Next Year In The Same Boring Form)!
It does change (ala Maxey -- or not driving Powerline Long into the sun!) It might be around forever. Or reality might set if we divine the answer to the age-old question, “Why do we do this?”
Although everyone knows deep down that rally organizing is the best way to make an absolute fortune off a bunch of suckers (*ask me about the bridge we have for sale), there are limits. We love rally. You love rally. But dude, we're getting old. As the longest consecutive-running rally in Cali, if Gorman were a gift horse, you wouldn't want to look it in the mouth.
Just as we've seen with most rallies throughout the US, our entries have declined in recent years. Unfortunately, our costs have not. It still takes the same infrastructure -- the HAMs, the selfless volunteers, the fire crew, the EMS crews, the Boy Scouts who cater the BBQ lunch, the guys who haul in the beer -- to run a 15-entry event as it does for a 50-entry event. It's gotten to the point that soon we may have to resort to selling off the organizer yacht and quit holding our meetings at the Bel Air Country Club! Oh, the rally organizer humanity!
5. It Sucks Because of the Hangover!
You got us on this one. Gorman DOES totally suck in this department. All we can say is... drink lots of water. Stay away from anything in a Solo cup that Chuck or Tony might hand you. Or stuff that might have a hint of 2-stroke fuel. You've been warned.
You should also probably go to bed at a decent time when the rally's over; ignore all the camaraderie; and forget all the crazy stories (most of which are rally-related, anyway). Dirt lot? Amazing ethnic barbecue? Some barbarian tool called El Blendero? Banish it all for the greater good!
If you think Gorman totally sucks, we challenge you to come out and prove us wrong. We guarantee that -- at the very least -- you'll come away thinking it barely sucks. If it's better than that, let us buy you a beer, bro. Or a 2-stroked margarita. It's the least we can do. Seriously.
So what if our organizational structure is top-notch? Who cares if we've got a relaxed, but safety-minded atmosphere? Don't give it a second thought that our scoring folks are the best in the biz. If we're newb friendly, we should put our money where our mouth is, right? (I mean, the easy service access to the compact venue and Ray's grandfatherly advice ain't enough). Ain't no thang if we've got a spectator area -- no, wait, what? Seriously, a what? Yes -- spectators. Your friends/family/relatives/significant other/potential multi-million dollar sponsor can see you drive a stage?!
We pack a C3 into a single day with both day and night stages and still manage to have a mid-day BBQ and a fun get-together in the same evening. If you break on stage 2, no worries, you can probably still duct tape and bailing-wire that monster back together in time to get out on stage 4 and super rally.
Yeah, we admit there's some suck -- we won't defend the fact that last year we had one stage start 7 minutes late (first and only time in at least 5 years we didn't start every stage on-time) -- but we're struggling onward with that shameful stain upon our reputation.
So come on out to that predictable, boring, rough, small rally in a park without notes.
And have a freakin' ball!
We hope to see you in August.
--The Gorman Rally Folks
P.S. from Ray:
Brian left out the threat to send armed Predator drones after your rally car if you don’t enter.